


Worthy

by thesoundofnat



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony can lift Mjolnir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 00:32:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16006550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: Tony pulled hard for show, just hard enough to almost hurt his back, and promptly found himself on his back on the floor. Hammer still in his hand.(Or, Tony manages to lift Mjolnir and has an even harder time believing he's worthy than anyone else. Slight Stony)





	Worthy

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt on tumblr. Kind of turned into a bit of a Stony fic + a bunch of Tony being his own biggest critic. Enjoy!

It was strange, spending your whole life thinking one thing only to be proved wrong in your 40s. Tony wouldn’t necessarily allow something to completely change his mind just like that without a buildup or some proper facts, but this time he had to make an exception. There were godly powers at play.

He’d never claimed that his life was normal.

A regular evening, now common, with all the Avengers gathered. Drinks and food and a small celebration of whatever. The banter flowing and teasing remarks leaving everyone’s mouths. A good evening. A kind evening.

Thor’s hammer was taking up a noticeable amount of space on the floor, and the topic soon turned to it. People thinking they could lift it, even as a joke. Thor telling them they were not worthy, which Tony knew anyway. Laughter even though their prides were a bit hurt, and then, a challenge.

“I’m sure I can lift it,” Clint said, all confidence. “Let me try.”

Thor raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to ruin your back?”

“I’ve done worse.”

So Clint made a whole show out of walking up to Mjolnir, grabbing the handle real good, and proceeding to not even budge it a bit when he pulled. More laughter. Tony almost felt a little bad, but the way his smirk just dropped and got replaced by an offended frown was too much.

“It’s broken,” Clint said, tugging halfheartedly. “You need to get a new one.”

Thor turned to the others in smug satisfaction. “Anyone else wants to make a fool of themselves?”

Which was the entirely wrong thing to ask a bunch of superheroes, as they would all gladly make fools of themselves just to prove a point.

Bruce, of all people, went second. It was a suspenseful minute watching him pull the hammer hard enough to almost bring the other guy out, but in the end he too had to admit defeat. He looked even sadder than Clint had.

This was a bad idea.

Natasha refused to touch it, and Tony couldn’t blame her. What on Earth was compelling Steve to walk up to it was beyond him, and Tony reached out for his arm automatically. “Remember that this doesn’t mean anything,” he said quietly, and Steve shot him a small smile.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you think I’m unworthy.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Tony said quickly, but Steve wouldn’t let him explain. Only walked up to that godforsaken hammer and grabbed the handle.

Steve, all pure and mighty, should’ve been able to lift it. If not for his worth, then for his strength. Or so Tony thought.

It didn’t even budge beneath his hand, and that was when Tony knew that no mortal could ever move it.

He had no idea why he even tried, really. Why he walked up to it so determined to humiliate himself like the others had. An act of solidarity? A search for the truth? To find proof of what he and the others already knew?

Steve’s fingertips brushed against his hand as he passed him, and Tony wondered if it was on purpose. Shouldn’t Tony be comforting him? Was comfort apt when you were shown just how mortal you were?

The others were cheering, for some reason. Trying to make a game out of something that caused pain, however small. Tony could appreciate that, and he gripped the handle as his confident persona took over. Smile for the audience, Tony. They don’t love you, but they can pretend. Pretend that you’re worthy of their effort.

Tony pulled hard for show, just hard enough to almost hurt his back, and promptly found himself on his back on the floor. Hammer still in his hand.

The cheering stopped, replaced by a confused silence. A stunned silence. Tony blinked up at the ceiling and glanced to his side, seeing the hammer just shy of having smashed Thor’s foot. Tony idly wondered if that would’ve hurt.

“Holy shit,” was the first reaction. Clint, as expected. He was gaping so excessively that Tony almost rolled his eyes. “You lifted it.”

Tony sat up, not sure what to do. “Apparently I did.”

“You’re the only worthy human I have met.” That was Thor, looking surprised. Then pleased. Reminding Tony of how people usually reacted when he did something truly good.

He rubbed his neck. “Maybe it  _is_ broken,” he mumbled, and Steve seemed to be the only one who had heard him if his frown was any indication.

“How did it feel?” Bruce prompted. “Was it heavy?”

“I honestly barely registered lifting it,” Tony said. “I didn’t feel a thing. Is it supposed to be that light?”

“It’s light enough to maneuver easily,” Thor replied. “But heavy enough to be able to be used as a weapon. You just expected it to not move.”

Tony accepted Nat’s hand, bringing Mjolnir with him when he stood. He held it up, away from his body as if afraid it would explode. “I like the feel of it. It’s sturdy. Steady. Like I was meant to hold it.”

“Anyone who can always has.”

His life became increasingly strange after that.

First of all, he felt as if the others looked at him funny. Wondering why he, of all people, could lift that thing. How he,  _of all people_ , could be worthy of it.

He met their gazes over breakfast, saw their eyes linger for only a few seconds too long, and averted his own. He met them in the hallways and had to endure their smiles. Smiles they’d never sent his way before.

And then he might’ve started avoiding them because he couldn’t handle how wrong the hammer could be. Even though Thor had assured him that the hammer always knew, never made mistakes. But it had to be wrong.

Right?

“Why are you hiding?”

Tony glanced up, eyes meeting Steve’s. The only eyes that still looked at him like they always had. “I’m not hiding.”

“Coulda fooled me.” Steve entered his workshop fully, scanning the mess of unfinished projects Tony was trying to make his way through. “I reckon I should’ve known you were here.”

“Of course you did. See, it’s not hiding if people already know your whereabouts.”

“So it’s isolation.”

Tony shrugged. “Can’t deny that.”

“Can I ask why?”

Tony looked away, picking at a screwdriver on the desk before him. “I think you can take a guess.”

“I would prefer hearing it from you.”

“Why?”

“Because me knowing and you allowing me to know are two different things.” Tony could hear Steve moving closer. “But you don’t have to say it if you don’t want to.”

“This whole Mjolnir thing,” Tony started, waving a hand around. “It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“It’s unusual,” Steve said. “But I don’t find it weird.”

Tony hadn’t meant for his laugh to sound so bitter. “Me of all people.”

Steve’s hand found Tony’s wrist, one finger touching it, as if he wasn’t aware he was doing it. “You’ve always thought too lowly of yourself, Tony.”

“I just don’t think I’m worthier than anyone else. If I can lift it so should you.”

“I’m no saint.”

“I evidently am not one either.”

“I don’t think it’s necessarily about what you’ve done in your life, but more what’s inside.”

“So why did it pick  _me_?”

Steve turned to fully face him now, forcing Tony to do the same. “Listen to me,” he started, voice sterner now. “You’re worth so much more than you think. The hammer picked you because you were so adamant about believing it wouldn’t. You have a good heart, Tony. Stop denying it.”

Tony shoved lightly at Steve’s chest, feeling claustrophobic all of a sudden. “Stop.”

“What?”

“I’m not… I can’t…”

“Tony.”

Anyone else would’ve just accepted the compliment. Maybe even smiled smugly because of it. Why Tony couldn’t just  _pretend_ to accept it-

“Stop it.”

“What?”

“You’re overthinking. Calm down.” Steve reached out hesitatingly and touched his neck, fingertips gentle against his skin. “Breathe.”

Tony did. Inhaled shakily and tried to calm both his sudden self loathing and the wave of nerves.

How had they ended up here?

“I know believing something new is hard,” Steve said, voice low. Almost a whisper. “But if you let me I’ll make sure you never forget how wonderful you are.”

Tony leaned closer, resting his forehead against Steve’s chest. “The others don’t believe it.”

“Yes, they do.” Steve gave his neck a squeeze. “Their opinions shouldn’t matter, but they do. Trust me.”

“They look at me funny.”

“They’re wondering how much you’re hiding inside. How much of you they haven’t seen yet. You don’t exactly let people in.”

Tony snorted. “Hasn’t ended well in the past.”

Steve’s hand was in his hair now, and Tony found himself humming contently. “I’m not telling you to bare your whole soul. Just realize that whatever people made you believe in the past doesn’t define you.”

“You’re so good at this.”

“At what?”

“Making me feel better. It’s kind of unfair.”

Steve laughed. “How is it unfair?”

“That I can lift the hammer and you can’t.”

“ _Stop_.”

Tony glanced up, a smile tugging at his lips. “Make me.”

Reason number 1291 that Steve Rogers should’ve been able to lift that godforsaken hammer: he was the best kisser Tony had ever had the privilege to, well, kiss.

Unfair.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/)!


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